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I Hate Me

by Taking Meds

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1.
Big Fish 02:25
Turn a departure from the ego into an ego trip / Didn’t like what I saw when I pulled my head out of my ass / Photo evidence of a little pond; bloated, dead fish / When I bent over to make my retreat, the exit was latched / No remedy for push and pull / And now my leg is shaking / Still feeling heavy, don’t feel full / And now my phone is ringing / Somebody bludgeoned my left brain / And now congratulations / Robbed me and shoved me on this train / And I don’t want to take it / Shovel in a storm / Bucket in a flood / Pistol in a war, hanging fire from the mud / Turn a departure from the ego into an ego trip / Didn’t like what I saw when I pulled my head out of my ass / Photo evidence of a little pond; bloated, dead fish / Too late, the exit is latched / Float on, bloated little fish / Float on
2.
I Hate Me 03:20
My latest specter / A compliment collector / I have to let it go / What was I thinking? / A lapsed Catholic drinking / In a depression home / I heard the demons / The faint sounds of their screams / Were easy to ignore / I started chasing / Some cherubs I couldn’t face / I ain’t me / I hate me / My latest specter / A public image detector / I have to let it go / My favorite singer / Holds me at hairpin trigger / I’d never let him know / A stranger’s visage / Carved into a graven image / I grip the phantom stone / Unknowing mentor / Unknowing guide to distemper / I ain’t me / I hate me / That’s when I cling / To the thing you think / Don’t you see me sink? / It’s made of iron / I ain’t me / I hate me / My latest specter / A conscientious objector / When I was on the phone / My family cottage / I built of glass and demolished / And cursed the phantom stone / My holy scripture / Is just a series of pictures / Of people I don’t know / Unknowing mentor / Could not be reached for comment / I ain’t me / I hate me / Approach a stranger / Like a honeymoon phase / Approach an old friend / Like a plaintiff / I ain’t me / I hate me
3.
Back when I was a child / I was just like I am / Didn’t know where to stand / Afraid of the hand tattoo man / Surveying a crowd I could only assume / Was like a reunion; my voice would intrude / That’s when a fake phone call / Relegates me to the other room / Hyper-aware / I was just like I am when I was there / Paralyzed with care / A stranger who stares / Everybody can tell I’m a stranger who stares / Everybody can tell I’m a stranger who stares / Everyone unfamiliar: completely debonair / I’m ignoring the music; I sink into my chair / The hideous allure / Intolerably transfixed / The mortified new form / Of the hunter from the myth / I stare into the pool / Of Miller dregs and piss / Hyper-aware / I was just like I am when I was there / Paralyzed with care / A stranger who stares / A stranger who stares / A stranger who stares / A stranger who stares
4.
The Problem 04:37
When I stop seeking answers / I lay in my own filth / A peephole aimed straight backwards / I scratch at my tattoos / The problem is a crowd / That I forgot to beat / I then get lost inside until / Resigned, I fall behind / There is no finish line / There are no real vacations / You can scream at strangers to move in / Or get left at the station
5.
I’m in a big hurry to get out of the city / I’m packing and silent and hectic / My neighbor said he was playing a show / And I told him I’d be in attendance / But I forgot and I slept a lot / And I need to remain undetected / Now I’m sitting in traffic, in a hurry / To see a girl from back home / Who I swear that I feel like I’ve known for a century / But she lives six hours away / And it’s been two weeks / And every day we speak / For an hour at least / There’s no way / My mind makes up these scenarios / And crams the future full like a storage unit / And when I get there, it’s the same malaise / I’m eating and sleeping and pacing / And the cycle repeats and the fantasy seeps / Through the cracks and the strain in inertia / With a pit in my stomach, sitting in traffic / The spontaneous magician of the mundane / But she lives six hours away / And it’s been two weeks / And every day we speak / For an hour at least / There’s no way / There’s no way / There’s no way / There’s no way / There’s no way
6.
I Hate You 02:27
Converse sponsored former pop punk / I saw your press photo / I heard you talking about GBV / I heard you make sure to mention Sebadoh / I heard you sing like Rivers Cuomo / I heard your new shit’s a real departure / I had a chance to review / You miss your girl and you still do pills / And then you tell the world over 1 - 4 - 2 / I think I’m having really boring deja vu / I heard an echo outside the Echo / Just remember on the day that you come for me / Lifers know when they’re in bad company / You’re selling Smiths? Where’s the riffs? / Just remember on the day that you come for me / Lifers know when they’re in bad company / SUNY dropout basement poser / Constantly grasping at straws / Between the way I’ve seen you bend your rules / And then your noise tape that you made on a DAW / I think you maybe should have stayed pre-law / Fake friends held to floating standards / You can save me the speech / I was here before, I’ll be here after / When you’re working at a payroll company / Remember that when you come for me / You wanna sit in a circle / And play the compliment game / Well I’d prefer if everyone / Just forget my name / See a sign that says “don’t let the cops in” / Well someone already did / Just remember on the day that you come for me / Lifers know when they’re in bad company / I heard an echo outside the Echo / Just remember on the day that you come for me / Lifers know when they’re in bad company / Just remember on the day that you come for me / Lifers know when they’re in bad company
7.
Lifer 03:06
Now here he is the self-appointed gatekeeper asleep in his stool / Oh Christ, it’s me; resentful bully / Forgive me when I tell you I was / A cloistered east side kid / Socialized in drab / Slouching towards the Winter Olympics / To a Phish soundtrack / Intro to Marx / I don’t believe it / Work on a farm / I don’t believe anything / Work in a lab / Don’t wanna be there / 70 grand / Don’t wanna be anything / Straight from the heart into a car that, til today, refused to start / Thanks for the art with 13 parts / But I’m working doubles at the bar / Well here we are / It sucks you’re late too the party / We’re sacrificing to bald indifference / Wish I could make it on Friday / I’ll address the crowd about always wishing / But I’m not deceived / It’s only glory / It’s highly flammable where I’m going / If I lose my mind / Will you lie to me? / I remember telling my grandma / That I got married / Lectured on Marx / And I’ll believe it / Started a farm / And I’ll believe anything / Opened a lab / And I’ll believe it / 800 grand / And I’ll believe anything / Do you know where I can submit myself to the Winter Olympics? / Do you think Simon visited Jackson Frank after he lost it?
8.
Tough Guy 02:55
Were you talking to me just now? / I don’t see anyone else / I’ll take a swing on you in my apartment / But don’t remember your cell / Pass me on the right this morning? / Tire iron to mirror / No paperwork filed / Just car horn ringing in my ear / After a moment / Turned the car around / But you were gone / Let me tell you, you’re lucky, you’re really lucky / Were you talking to me just now? / I don’t see anyone else / I’ll pull a gun on you in my apartment / But only see you in hell / Pass me on the right this morning? / .38 to your ear / No court appearance necessary / You turned left at Pioneer / And as for me / I turned on the main road / And the sun beat in / And I finally raised my arm / To shield my eyes / After a moment / Turned the car around / But you were gone / Oh you’re just lucky you caught me on a good day
9.
Somebody’s gotta hold me / Need a ballast to keep on roaming / The curve is negative always / Oscillate between vogue and homely / Forehead kiss / Lack of interest / The cortege is approaching / Swap the bodies without them knowing / Though they differ in clothing / The same dead march drones on slowly / Finally some commitment / A warbling note lodged in my throat / More of a dent than an imprint / I don’t if I can attest to the difference / Someone’s crossing the boundary / Says he worships the ground devoutly / Somebody ought to drown me / Spanish castles dissolve around me / And boil up in quick mist / A warbling note lodged in my throat / More of a dent than an imprint / I don’t know / I don’t know / If I can attest / I don’t know / I don’t know / If I can attest to the difference / I wanted to stray from the prison of marriage / To vex the austere bite of love’s monochrome / I wandered the fray, unwanting and garish / A dog in the street that was raised in a home
10.
Inseverable 04:05
Put my loving hand around you / What’ll it be? / A picture of a friend in dull nude / Or vague memories? / Either I don’t know how to read / Or Corinthians was written about me / Worst design flaw in human history / I glory in my infirmities / When I kicked the booze I found you / Tied to a tree / Stripped of bark and still they’d bound you / Inseverably / And I can’t forget / How to breathe / So I glory in my infirmities / Safe and demure / Sin of the mind / The disease and cure / Lose the hand, save the body / Lose the hand, save the body / Lose the hand, save the body / Love my hand, hate my body

credits

released July 12, 2019

Personnel:

Skylar Sarkis - Vocals, Guitar
Ben Kotin - Guitar, Vocals
Jon Markson - Bass, Vocals, Guitar
Dan Abzug - Drums, Percussion

We all played synth

Additional percussion by Sam Palumbo and Alex Salter

Produced and engineered by Jon Markson

Recorded at Savaria Studios

Tracks 1,2,3,5,6,7 and 9 mixed at Savaria Studios by Jon Markson
Tracks 4, 8, and 10 mixed at Hook & Fade by Jon Markson and Justin Gerrish

Mastered by Jason Livermore at The Blasting Room

Additional engineering by Sam Palumbo, Ben Kotin, Kevin Dye, James Palko, Sam Wadsworth, and Alex Salter

Artwork and Layout by Corey Purvis

Released 7/12/2019 on Near Mint

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